Breaking News: Gamers reinforce stereotype by not having girlfriends

The misconception about gamers being an inept and unrefined breed has persisted for years. You know the one I’m talking about: The Gamer’s face, resplendent with whiteheads, is bathed by the eerie glow of a monitor into obscene hours of the night. He wears a Cheeto-stained size XXL promotional t-shirt that he got for free with his pre-ordered copy of Final Fantasy XIII, and he rarely removes it; he doesn’t need to, as he doesn’t shower very frequently at all. The Gamer , with his thick glasses and his retainer, certainly doesn’t have any friends, let alone a girlfriend.

Gamers can be cool, I swear. Just look at these guys.

While amusing for many people, this reputation can be a little embarrassing for those of us who actually do play games. This is why we don’t typically let the full extent of our computer-loving tendencies become known to others. We cling to our virtual trophies and treat our Modern Warfare 2 achievements as if they are as much of an accomplishment as a university degree. We gleefully point out news articles that describe the sharpened vision or agile fingers of frequent gamers, as if to legitimise our hobby with scientific fact. We proclaim an odd sort of kinship with gussied-up and exceptionally groomed ‘pro gamers’, such as those of the Starleague, perhaps hoping that in addition to a passion for gaming, we also share their good looks. And we band together to discuss games with other gamers in environments where we do not feel repressed by the uneducated, ungaming masses. Environments like, say, GameFAQs.

Today’s chucklesome news springs from GameFAQs’ 2nd August Poll of the Day, in which the following question is posed: “Do you have a significant other?”

Hilarious pollYeah, GameFAQs probably isn’t the ideal site for accurate results… but it sure is funny!

It would appear that gamerkind has shot itself in the foot and set back the effort it has gone to to make gaming cool, because a vast majority – 42% of the over 79,000 poll participants – owned up to never having had a girlfriend. A further 25% admit that they don’t currently have a girlfriend, but claim to have had “one” in the past.

If that wasn’t funny enough, response to the poll has been even more comical, particularly in the comments section of this thread. “I once had a girlfriend for two months!” says one poster of his extraordinary girl-related feat. Others chalk their single status up to “I need a girl who plays games,” as if this is the sole excuse for their solitude (and we can surely empathise, because we know female gamers are extremely rare, right…?).

I guess you’ve gotta give the denizens of GameFAQs credit for not fabricating their answers, even with the anonymity afforded to them by the internet. Embarrassing though it may be that so many gamers fit the cartoony stereotype, I suppose a better way of looking at the gamer dating scene is this: While only 33% of gamers have a significant other, this means that the remaining 67% can enjoy Starcraft 2 uninterrupted and in peace.


3 thoughts on “Breaking News: Gamers reinforce stereotype by not having girlfriends

  1. I have often wished so hard for the solitude singledom affords oneself when a desirous game comes out, that I am suprised nothing has changed when I open my eyes after squeezing them shut for the duration of the wishing.
    But it’s wrong to discard real relationships for fake ones, isn’t it? I must continue with my double life, exhausting though it is!
    It is interesting that so many admitted to having no significant other- nor ever had one. Considering the mortification of it’s implication on a mainstream socially acceptable level, I would expect that they would lie for the sake of fitting in. Being free to game well into that good night must be a truly glorious, else why admit it so boldly?

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